Tuesday, September 29, 2009

If the Ass-Backwards Shoe Fits, Wear It?

Gary writes:

Dear Shameless,

Have you seen those hi-tech shoes that work out your calves just by walking?


Why, yes I have actually. I saw a segment on the news awhile back about a walking shoe that helps you burn calories while you walk without even noticing? REALLY?? You mean it does something other than cover my feet from the elements so I can go to work or even jog??? AND it bends your feet up the wrong damn direction AND comes with a reasonable price tag of $250 during a recession???? {Hint: I'm being sarcastic for all you inbred idiots out there} Wow! This has to be too good to be true because if it's anything like those cool pump-up air shoes I had as a kid that would cut my blood circulation off (so I could perform better?) then count me in!!

"You don't even realize you're doing exercise just by walking in them" said Terry Brian from the Moderately Walking Shoe Company.

That guy is right though, I don't even want to feel like I'm working out because that could lead to boosting my confidence and actually shedding some unwanted pounds! That my friends would just be silly.

So me being the genius I am and wanting to cash in on this revolutionary idea of selling a f$#@%& -up shoe, I decided to make my own. I even have a catchy promotional phrase for it too! Check it out...

Gary, save your hard earned money and buy back the other half of your brain pal.