Saturday, May 16, 2009

You say potato, I say Patty the man-eating Nazi.

For those of you who don't know or recognize Patty Stanger of Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker from her picture below, (click on image for a closer view) you're not missing out on a damn thing. Really. You're better off for it. This woMan eats wealthy men and their money for a living. Wait, no... ... she "matches" wealthy men up with gold-digging whores. Yep, that's right. Patty-Wacky Stanger actually believes she's helping these men by finding a future ex-companion for them who's willing to someday bleed their bank accounts dry like Paul McCartney's One-legged Ex-wife, Heather Mills.
Which leads me to my next question: why does this matchmaking, man-eating Nazi even have a job doing this? Who gives a shit about the rich in these times? Wouldn't her "talent" be better used to help find the unfortunate people with Turrets Syndrome hook up with other mates of the same disease? Or what if she helped "little people" find other tiny-tike love? How could that be wrong?

She-Devil has even written a book called “Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate.” That's amazing considering she's single and no man wants to wed this high octane bitch. Patty, why would any man with half a brain want you? You're screwing it up for them by telling all of our secrets damn it! If you're a matchmaker, than I'm a fortune teller and I predict your ass is going to be wrinkled, alone and reading one of your newly published line of self help books starting with "How to lose the attraction of the entire opposite sex forever because you're a dumb bitch."

Oh well, I think she and Mrs. Potato Head have a few things in common. For instance, they both like to show off their old melons and they both like to keep their men down. This one's for you Cupid's c@#$! Mom told me NEVER to say that word, so I won't even type it Mom :)

P.S. Did someone forget to tell her that her face looks like ?
Because DAMN...