SLAP, SLAP, SLLLAAAP!!

I'm sorry, but this picture had me feeling sorry for animals, Carrot Top and the Hello Kitty franchise all at the same time. You can see it in his face that even Perez Hilton (Mario Lavandeira) feels awkward? He looks like someone attempted to make a fatter version of Jay Leno out of some clay and then played "dress up" in old auntie's closet. If you can't take the heat... ...you know the rest Perez. There are many forms of violence Perez and you just showed Toronto one of them and will.i.am (hate spelling that out) and his bodyguard showed the other kind. I would pay to see Hilton and Will.i.am slap-box each other.
BTW: If you're going to call famous musicians "fagots" while offending the entire gay community at the same time, you better be able to take one to the face! {picture me dying of laughter here} I suggest an appropriate change of protective attire for the next time you head out.

Cheers,

David "Lamerman" VS. "Governhater" Palin Square-Off

"Letterman on the left, Palin on the right... ... and you can vote for whoever you like... ....yea!"

So here's my two cents on the whole Sarah Palin/David Letterman tiff; because that's what it is folks, a f$#@&*+ "tiff". At this point, I think both parties are paid way too much! Palin is starving for attention (as is Letterman) and Letterman's jokes lately, just suck. I really don't think anyone was offended until Governhater Palin was. Seriously, you know I'm right. All busniness aside, this is a personal attack on Palin's family AND it's a joke. Here's the rub, I'm not even a fan of Letterman and also I kind of like Palin. I mean, she's the hot, pit-bull with lipstick ex-candidate that everybody loves to hate but me and (R) Alaska? Whatever, go F&%$# yourselves...
Letterman is old and let's face it; he's about as funny as a reoccurring hemorrhoid who brings his penis-head, keyboard playing friend to a Mexican food-shitting contest the next morning. The whole thing is just an annoying, stinging sensation in my ass that just won't go away! In fact, I think NBC should just rub some Preparation H on the whole-damn thing so it will just recede into the butt-hole land of wasted air time. AND is it me or did Lamerman's show do this to gain the ratings of lost Leno fans? Nahhh...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vun98wgAoLc

Doesn't she come off like a bitch? Does she not have something better to do? I mean, Lamerman did it during his widely accepted "job" Palin, you just used national TV at a time in the morning when you and all the rest of America should be f$#@&*+ working your asses off on how to fix the shit we're in for the position you're no longer campaigning for?

If that's not enough, Ol' Mr. Leo Brent Bozell, founder of MRC (Media Research Center) AKA the "Worst Person in the World" has to weigh in on it and "demand" Lamerman to apologize to Sarah Palin and Willow (the daughter the dumbass meant to ridicule). Ooooo... ... he's-a-shakin'-in-his-a-boots-now Bozell; because most people care if you poke your silver-head out... ... Besides Leo, Matt Lauer of the Today Show took Palin's side anyways. So it's a done deal.

Hate it when I'm right. Maybe I should have my own late night talk show or run for the next ex-presidency campaign? No... ...bad idea, because I hate politics and my humor is too "bold" and "racy."

P.S. You would think I know this, BUT I need people to tell me. LMFAO! Later haters...

Cheers,

Make The Damn Change Already!

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Today all US TV stations our cutting off all analog signals. According to the FCC (federal communications commission) there are still over one million homes who still have not made "the change."

Boo-fucking-hoo! Even if you're are 85 years old, deaf, dumb and blind, you've had well over a year with millions of annoying commercials and printed advertisements telling you EXACTLY what to do and when to do it! If you don't recall, this was supposed to originally happen months and months ago but was postponed for fear too many people would still be left in the dark.

GREAT... ... now I have to listen to all the same commercials again but with the added phrase "If you STILL have not" incorporated into them.

The FCC is handing out bumper stickers to help create awareness to those who still have not used their rebate checks for the new digital converter boxes.

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Cheers,

The Boyle That Popped

So we all know who Susan Boyle is by now from Bitain's Got Talent? I don't even intentionally watch the news and I know who she is. I have to say, though she looks like a wildebeest, she finally won me over when she "lost it" on those journalists who harassed her. Let's face it, who doesn't want to kick a journalists ass? Especially reporters who talk with a funny accent. I mean, she's Scottish and I bet to her they sounded like they had the tip of their tongues cut off like those old Australian Toaster Biscuit commercials...

"The're much fluffier than those hard English things. It tastes like it's got butta inside. They make my mouth watuh."

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Anyhow Susan, take it easy, take a break and call your cat "Pebbles" because I'm sure she's missed you after running out of catnip and eating her own kitty-Roca for months.

Cheers,